“My name is Juan Morales, I was sentenced to 108 years to life. I have attended 12 groups for most of my incarceration. However, it wasn’t until 2016-2017 that I experienced a whole new meaning of what the 12 steps meant. I was invited to participate in a group called friends in recovery standing together (F.I.R.S.T).
Attending (F.I.R.S.T) was something that I will forever be grateful for. It taught me that there is much more information behind each step. Such as the spiritual principles and how we can implement each step into our own lives. I can proudly say that this was my first time working the 12 steps and I gained so much insight. Many would say that step 4 was the most difficult one, because of writing a list of the people we harm, and I can agree. However, for me, the most difficult step was step 5, because of admitting to myself, God and another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. I was more than capable of admitting to myself and God, but another human being was very difficult. I remember hearing it from a facilitator, to only trust the process. I did, and that helped me to let go of a lot of shame. It changed my perspective in how I viewed life and others. I no longer had a desire to act out with old behaviors.
It started by me doing my best to apply the spiritual principles into my daily life. I truly felt that I was no longer doing my will, but my Higher Power’s will. Which brings me to mention, through (F.I.R.S.T), I built a stronger relationship with God. I began to experience what many others before me had experienced through working the 12 steps. As others witnessed my walk, they began to ask me for help. That is when I realized that I was not only helping them, but also helping myself in the process. That is why we say, we keep what we have by giving it away.
I would like to say that this is when I flipped the script to my lifestyle. I no longer chose to do illegal things to gain self-esteem. I gained my self-esteem through helping others. I thank (F.I.R.S.T) and all my friends in recovery standing together.“
