Lee C.

My name is Lee Cota. I have been incarcerated for 15 years, on a 21 years to life sentence. I have been a part of FIRST since 2017. I am currently co-facilitating my 6th cohort at CIM.

I had always thought of myself as unique when it came to my addiction. I thought no one understood me, or had been through what I had been through. I was trapped in a prison inside myself. I found out early, while in FIRST, that I was not unique at all. There are other like me, and that do understand.

I found a safe haven. A place I can take off the masks, take down the walls, and be myself. FIRST gave me the opportunity to explore my addictions in a healthy way: through working the 12 steps. FIRST has a unique approach to working the 12 steps in a group setting. We read, we discuss and do homework every week – that we all read to the group. Most importantly, we write a “Reflection” on the work we are doing on that step/module, and how we are implementing the step into our daily lives.

The wonderful thing about FIRST is that we also work on Anger Management, Domestic Violence, Grief and Loss, and Guilt and Shame, among other things. All areas I have struggled with in my past. We also write Amends Letters, Good-bye Letters, and Self-forgiveness Letters.

With all that being said, I have been able to address many of my childhood traumas, the negative belief system I once had, criminal thinking and character defects. I have found a supportive, caring, understanding, encouraging and loving community. The FIRST acronym means the world to me: “Friends In Recovery Standing Together.” I have found many real friends in this program, a brotherhood, if you will, that stand together with each other, through this journey in recovery.